A Delicate Fate

It is not the name but the story that is important so I've changed it because I don't need to worry about telling someone else's business to the world.

There's a lot going through my mind right now. About now is when technology should hurry and provide some brain wave scan that would correlate that to some wonderfully concise adjectives. That would at least give me something.
The facts are:
· Headed to Ha Sechache village today for another training.
· I had a walk-and-talk with a local teacher on the way who invited me to visit her school with my agriculture training. (we also talked about the ever so common pig raising project)
· I stopped by Ntate Likiso's house. This is a farmer I've worked with on several activities. He is very outward, talkative, and knows some English to go along with my Sesotho. When you get him and Ntate Matsistsi together they are a comedic show.
· Likiso was found in his bed where he had been for four days. He had a gaunt, tired look on his face, and there on the night stand were his ART drugs. Likiso is HIV positive I am sure and I have known for a while. To see him, a man I think highly of in a dibilitated state too tired to even go outside in the sun, is painful to see.
· I must still move on leaving Likiso with the only things I have with me, a pack of Cheez-it crackers and a drink package because it is 'enhanced' with vitamins and minerals the lack of which is partly keeping Likiso prisoner.
· At the Chief's place I met the Chief and his guys (men who basically just hang out up there but have official titles that escape me right now). No one had any idea about my coming or why I was there. Ha Phallang, my first village, spoiled me with their attendance and communication.
· Trying to rectify the situation I talked to the teachers again and asked if they were still wanting me to some. Some villagers were quickly collected and I convinced everyone to combine the training and have it in the school. I'd be “killing two birds with one stone” the teacher was saying so as to convince me further to come to her school. (she was more than excited not to be teaching today. I remember how teachers are Mom!)
· In my training, one of the things I encourage people not to do is kill the birds along with all the other creatures that we identify as “friends” who help us keep a healthy and happy farm. People still think I'm crazy to want snakes alive and well in Semonkong.
· I caught a lift back to town with a delivery man from South Africa who loves Michael Jackson. His favorite song is “Baby Be Mine”. There was no CD player in the delivery truck, however. :(
· Back at the mission I get a visit from a recent transplant from Maseru, Felix. He and his wife moved to Semonkong because of his job with a Dutch NGO operating here. Also directly affiliated with the mission clinic, they do HIV/AIDS education, counseling, drug adherence, clinic and pharmacy management, support group activities and OVCs (orphans). They do it all. Felix and his wife are young, speak English, and are people I can relate to more easily so we can hang out more.
· Felix and I headed to his office where he shared proofs of the massage mismanagement happening at the clinic. Given my day's start and the sight of Likiso sick in bed, this frustrated me to no end. Why had all the money allocated for vitamins, for maintenance of the pharmacy stock and drug defaulter outreach not been used?
· Felix was asking me to help him design a way to maintain better records, monitoring and evaluation of the clinic and NGO's activities through the computer. The idea is to set up a system using people, resources, and the computer to better manage all the activities as one big database of information.
· I headed home after we met and thought how useless I felt this morning seeing Likiso there in bed. There was still a strong frustration with why people did so little with so much (a fortune that just sat). Then, all in the same day, there is an opportunity to maybe help things along.
It's impossible not to think there is some game of coincidence at play here. I must personally hope so as I consider how utterly surreal it has felt not to be much of a help in the morning and then to be faced with the other end of that spectrum in the evening. I have no hopes of changing anything honestly. I'll help Felix as much as I can. I will talk to as many people as my time and their patience will offer but I can't do it all for them. This is a tough truth.
The reality is where ever Likiso and other HIV positive individuals might have been wronged because of chaos that is Lesotho's response to this pandemic, there is not much that I can do but tread water along side those in the muck. People like Felix are the answer. Him and his wife are educated Basotho working in the Health field. They are staying in Lesotho. Something promising in a sea of ripples might just mean my single ripple will have some effect.\

There is an Indian (from India) saying about death that says, “When someone dies a piece of those who knew them dies with that person to keep them company.” Yea, I'll let a bit of myself die for Likiso.